What's Worth Killing Me
by kankuroadic
Summary: Axel loves his little Roxy, but he ends up abusing him. Better then it sounds
1. Chapter 1

_**This is my new one!! If you don't like being sad, or if you don't want to hate Axel, no one gives a damn. Just keep reading. Well this one is is AWESOME!! I had a very disterbing dream last night and this was it. Yeah, I dream in AkuRokus. Hey, I'm a yoai fangirl. This one MIGHT get explicit. I'll warn you. Untill then, just pray that this flows well. **_

I slamed the back of my hand against his now bruised cheek. This blonde needs to know what happens when he talks back to me with that teenage attitude. His head snaped to the side, making his spikes bounce slightly.

I picked him up by the collar of his shirt, "Now, what did you say again?"  
His face turned into one of surrender,"I'm sorry Axel." Now it turned into furry, "Sorry that your such a jackass!"  
He shouldn't have said that. I slamed his small body into the wall andpined his hands above his head. "Stupid Roxy. You should know better by now. Geuss I have to make you scream my name as punishment." I pulled his shirt over his head and watched with amuesment as the rebelios look in his eyes soon gave into tears.  
"A-axel! I'm sorry. P-please don't!" He should know that it's too late.

With that night came:tears, sweat, blood, a white sticky substence, but most of all, the love that Axel felt for Roxas. The fear that accompanied the thought that Rooxas could just leave and never come back. The self-hatred at the fact Axel hurt the person he loved most. But above all else, that small kiss placed on the blondes forehead simbling that Axel is sorry. Everytime Axel hurts his teenager, he places a small kiss on his forehead. To let Roxas know that he loves him.


	2. Apologies

_** Thanks for the feedback. I wasn't sure how people were gonna respond to chapter one. All the spelling errors are because it was early in the morning and I didn't want to forget the dream I had of this, so I typed fast. I'm so so so so sorry for how late this is! I lost my headphones and I can't write without listening to music. Again, VERY sorry. Well, enough of me blabering, here is the story.**_

"Axel, if you say you love him then why do you keep doing things like that to him?"  
I looked at the other blonde that I'm lucky enough to call my bestfriend. "Demyx, you know how everything goes downhill when I get angry. He should know by now not to make me angry."

Demyx's hand smacked my face with enough thrust to force me to look at the wall. "Axel! How can you say that! Aparently that poor blonde is in love with you or he would be gone already! How could you be so cruel! I mean I knew that you were an idiot but I could never imagine-"

"OKAY! I get it Demyx. What should I do?" I needed to know before I explode from uncertainty and pain.  
"Hell if I know! I was just making sure you knew to do _something_ before it's too late."  
I looked at Demyx and shook my head in disbelief, I'll just think of something then. With or without his help.  
I watched as a small kid compleatly covered in black leather except for a small bit of blonde hair poking out of the hood, crossed my path. Bad luck or coincidence? "Hey Roxas!" He flinched as I loosely placed my arm around his shoulders. "What's up?"  
He turned his head up to look at me, the mix of pain and fear in his eyes made my chest-is that my heart?-hurt. "H-hey Axel." He quickly turned his gaze back to ground.  
I forced a smile onto my face, "Do you want to do something?"

His voice sounded slightly interested, "Like what?"

A real smirk came across my features, "Maybe get some Sea Salt Ice-cream?"  
He connected his now sparkeling eyes with mine, "Really!? Like right now?!"  
I interlocked my fingers with his and opened a dark portal. "Come on." The smile that graced his lips made the hurting in my chest go away. I pulled him into the dark portal with me.

After several minutes, we appeared on top of the clock tower in Twilight Town. "You stay here, I'll get the ice-cream." I relunctently let go of his hand and walked over to the ice-cream stand. When I came back, Roxy looked so adorable with his feet dangling freely over the side.  
He stood up and waved at me with the widest smile on his face, "Hi Axie!" Out of all the good feeling spreading throughout my chest, a stab of panic caught me by surprise. Everything went in slow motion, Roxas's foot missed the ledge and his body fell backwards. Gravity was pushing him further down and away from me. Droplets of salted water fell down my cheeks as I droped the ice-cream and rushed tward the ledge and jumped off the ledge to pull my Roxas into my arms.

_**OOOOOH! Cliff hanger!**_


	3. Hurt

_** I deeply apologize for my lack of writing. I was having intence tramatization recovery therapy which cleared my mind of everything, including story ideas. From now untill this one is done, I will leave the other one unfinnished. I did however come up with like 5000000 NEW stories. I'm very good at starting things but horrible at finnishing them. The story last left off with Axel jumping off the clock tower in Twilight Town to save Roxas. Now, after FOREVER here is chapter three (I think).**_

Eyelashes fluttered back to show a pair of stunning ocean blue eyes. "Another dream about him, who is he?" Roxas hardly had time to recollect the events of his sleep hallucination when a familiar voice was screaming at his door.

"Roxas! Get your lazy ass up! We have to go compete in -I mean win- the struggle!" Hayner pounded on his bedroom door vigouruosly. So vigouruosly, in fact, that Roxas had to dodge a fist when he opened his door. Hayner smiled and kissed his boyfriend on the cheek. "Ready to get your ass kicked?" "Who's gonna kick it? You? Nah, I'm gonna pound you!" Roxas smirked at him. "I'm hoping on it." Hayner rebuttled. Roxas turned red and punched Hayner's arm, "Stop being a pervert. You know what I mean!" "Do I?" "Shut up."

The two blondes were a few of the last people to show up. Olette took one arm of both of the boys and pulled them over to where her and Pence were sitting. "Now listen," she started, "Win or lose we're still happy you two made it to the finals. Go out there and try your hardest!" Hayner snickered at Olette's last words, earning another punch from Roxas.

Roxas and Hayner followed through with their first match, which Roxas won, earning a wink from Hayner which meant _I let you win._ Roxas smiled and stuck out his tounge at him, somthing I always thought, was extremely cute.

I sighed, now it's time to ask Luxord to freeze time for me, time to send in the dusks and watch Roxas fight them, time for my chest to start hurting again. That uncomfortable feeling that made me have to stop and wonder if it was my heart, but then reject myself and tell myself that that was impossible. Then again, Roxas had dreams, that was supposed to be impossible too.

Everyone around stoped moving and the dusk appeared next to Roxas. He fought them all off in the exact same style I saw him use the night before he left. I had to stop and suppress the memory before that painfull flashbacks that kept me up all night started to occur again. "Alright Roxas! Fight, fight, fight!" I walked out of and squinted at the reason my chest always hurt. "Who the Hell are you?" He screamed at me. Why couldn't he remember? It wasn't fair. He was different, he could truly feel, he knew what it was really like to cry, to laugh, to smile, to be afraid, to be mad, to be content, to be at peace, to love. It just wasn't fair, then again, when were things fair for Nobodys? "Don't tell me you don't remember? It's me Axel. Got it Memorized?" No. If he did, I wouldn't have to say it again. If he did, he would be running into my arms. If he did, he wouldn't be here. "Okay Axel, who the Hell are you?" Please, remember. I don't want to be an empty shell anymore. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to see another day without you in my arms. "Please remember Roxas." I wish I could force my memories upon him. I wish he would stop looking at me as if I wanted to be here. As if, I wanted to hurt him. "Remember what?" Remember all the sea-salt popsicles. Remember the sunsets. Remember the words I said when you left. Remember anything! Before I knew it, water was falling from my eyes. I was crying. I then saw a bandaged face I knew to be Diz and my vision went black.


	4. Contest notice not part of story

Hey bitches! I had a brainstorm! I'm stuck on every story so I will be holding contests! I will ask a question, and whoever gets the right answer will get to pick who I'm writing about. Example:

Are Fred and George Weasly twins?  
Answer: Yes Story:An AkuRoku PLEA$E!

See? Write the question, then your answer, and then the couple you want me to write about. Preferably yaoi (but it doesn't HAVE to be. It's just what I'm best at), from the following catagories:  
Naruto. Code Lyoko. Kingdom Hearts. Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core. Final Fantasy Advent Children. Ouran Highschool Host Club, and anyothers as long as you ask first.  
They can be questions about anything, like what song is this. Mostly Harry Potter questions though (if you know about HP than me, you must've had a press conference with JK Rowling and your obbsession is waaaaay past unhealthy).If you want a specific theme of your story, give me a small summery but you can just let me decide. If I like the topic it might be mulltichapter if I don't (*cough* Zack X Cloud *cough* *cough) you will most likely get one chappy.  
So here is your first question: What is Draco Malfoy's mother's name? (starting easy)  
Please PM me the answer within 5 days!


End file.
